TODAY IS NATIONAL Raisin Day. But we don’t feel like celebrating, actually, because raisins are bad, and they should feel bad.
So raisins, listen up – this is why you suck.
They turn up absolutely everywhere, uninvited
Granola, scones, chocolate, ice cream – who asked you here, raisins? Who asked you?
And they make it really hard for you to get them to leave
Spending 20 minutes picking all the unexpected raisins out of your slice of cake is just… Nobody should have to go through that.
They look like sheep poo
Bet you can’t tell the difference.
They’re sneaky
“Can I have a plain scone, please,” you ask. You receive this abomination:
Raisins will find a way. They always do.
They are too good at posing as chocolate chips
Looking forward to that chocolate chip cookie? THINK AGAIN.
They make enjoying yoghurt or chocolate-covered peanuts a tough job
Every morsel is like Russian roulette.
They are literally shrivelled grapes
And thus inferior in every way. Be gone, raisins, you evil fruit.
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